2019 is a year of healing and rest for me because for the first 3 quarters of the year it’s like my life is about work as if I am a programmed robot. Sleep at day, awake at night to work and I don’t have any activities except in the last quarter of this year. It becomes a routine to me already that I forgot that I must develop myself.
I feel that this year I was in hibernate mode and I let the time pass me by. It was different 3 or 5 years ago where I look forward to promotions and progress, this year I find comfort in what I am doing. It was and it sounds nice, but I know that it will wreak havoc me soon. I should be exploring more and taking risks while I still can.
Though I am not complaining as I also liked it because at least I am able to focus on my goal and finish it off soon so I can concentrate on myself once again. I still have another year though (next year) to reach the finish line for that goal. This is what I also asked God, to give me time to heal, rest, and focus.
But God also hears my prayers, which is to control my career path. Honestly, I’m tired of chasing the career goals so I just let God takes control over it. I will just do whatever God wants me to do and what I can only do is give my 100% and let Him drive everything for me. If they (the company, or people) appreciate what I did then it’s good and if not then move on. What matters is I know to my self that I did my part and give my 100%. It’s important that you give your 100% in everything you do so that you will not feel any regret after it is done.
God shakes and stirs me a little bit, it’s His plans for me and I look at it as an opportunity. It’s just that it anxious me as I don’t know what’s in store for me next year, what obstacles that I need to face, and most importantly if I can sustain my responsibilities that I am carrying on my shoulder. I am expecting that it will be a hard time for me for the first quarter of next year (hopefully not the entire year), but I just pray that those who depends on me will not be affected.
I highly believe that if God closes doors He wants and leads you to better ones. Something needs to be destroyed so that new seeds can prosper. I am anxious and at the same time excited for the year 2020, it may be a roller coaster ride that I have to go up, down, and side. But just like the ride, it scares you at first but once done it’s super fun.