2019 is a year of healing and rest for me because for the first 3 quarters of the year it’s like my life is about work as if I am a programmed robot. Sleep at day, awake at night to work and I don’t have any activities except in the last quarter of this year. It becomes a routine to me already that I forgot that I must develop myself.
I feel that this year I was in hibernate mode and I let the time pass me by. It was different 3 or 5 years ago where I look forward to promotions and progress, this year I find comfort in what I am doing. It was and it sounds nice, but I know that it will wreak havoc me soon. I should be exploring more and taking risks while I still can.
Though I am not complaining as I also liked it because at least I am able to focus on my goal and finish it off soon so I can concentrate on myself once again. I still have another year though (next year) to reach the finish line for that goal. This is what I also asked God, to give me time to heal, rest, and focus.
![seoul](https://i0.wp.com/live.staticflickr.com/65535/49247048687_835b42ab9e.jpg?w=1510&ssl=1)
But God also hears my prayers, which is to control my career path. Honestly, I’m tired of chasing the career goals so I just let God takes control over it. I will just do whatever God wants me to do and what I can only do is give my 100% and let Him drive everything for me. If they (the company, or people) appreciate what I did then it’s good and if not then move on. What matters is I know to my self that I did my part and give my 100%. It’s important that you give your 100% in everything you do so that you will not feel any regret after it is done.
God shakes and stirs me a little bit, it’s His plans for me and I look at it as an opportunity. It’s just that it anxious me as I don’t know what’s in store for me next year, what obstacles that I need to face, and most importantly if I can sustain my responsibilities that I am carrying on my shoulder. I am expecting that it will be a hard time for me for the first quarter of next year (hopefully not the entire year), but I just pray that those who depends on me will not be affected.
I highly believe that if God closes doors He wants and leads you to better ones. Something needs to be destroyed so that new seeds can prosper. I am anxious and at the same time excited for the year 2020, it may be a roller coaster ride that I have to go up, down, and side. But just like the ride, it scares you at first but once done it’s super fun.